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User blog:NightFalcon9004/Jesus Christ vs Eminem. Epic Fanmade Battles of History 4.
As a Christmas present to the wiki, here is a battle with Jesus Christ, whose birthday is Christmas. Because of religious views, I think that if ERB does a Jesus battle, it should be left until the very last ERB. It is also made for entertainment purposes, not to have any side on religion, so you don't need to take this fanmade battle seriously either. So here is Eminem battling Jesus, since this is Epic Rap Battles of History, and Jesus was one of the biggest influences in history, while Eminem is one of the biggest rappers ever, and this is, well, an epic battle. The Messiah and founder of Christianity, Jesus Christ, and world famous rapper, Eminem, rap against each other to see who is a bigger legend. Nice Peter as Jesus Christ (since I think he would play him better than Aaron Zaragoza) Lloyd Ahlquist as Eminem Here is your beat, with Eminem starting on 0:27. Announcer: EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORYYYYY! EMINEM! VS... JESUS CHRIST!!! BEGIN! Eminem: Holy Christ! You're back, but the world's not ready for you yet And you could never beat me in a rap battle, that's something I bet You're a low-life who teaches and preaches and has two dads A virgin mother too? Man, I thought my childhood was bad But it looks like you're a mama's boy, following her example I'm the one who shouldn't be messed with like Adam & Eve's apple In modern times, my music makes me bigger than Jesus now So bow down to me, you so-called king, because now I've got the crown And like a big-ass cross, I'll be bringing you down You're no fighter. I'll beat you hard like Chris Brown I don't know what dumb prophet gets betrayed by his own dinner guest You practiced two religions, but all I see you doing is assholiness Jesus: I'm the Son of God, representing the town of Bethlehem I'll break your ass in four like a Kit-Kat Bar, Eminem Now you call yourself Slim Shady, but I'm all win and you're crazy The whole world worshipped me ever since I was a baby I'll be walking all over you like water, but no pressure I rode mules like you on my trips to the desert Leaving you with wounds that will never heal on your skin I'm gonna have to die several times just to fix all your sins Eminem: Well lemme help you with that. I'll make you fall so you don't stand I'm not afraid of you, punk. I go HAM like Superman Now listen up homeboy, don't even come back in 3 days I'm a danger, you were born in a manger. You don't have a chance anyways People use brains God give us and become Atheist or have no religion I'll go Pontius Pilate on your ass back to the crucifixion And I'll be like the crown of thorns on your cranium Now get back to the sky and try again next millenium Jesus: Imma make more jaws drop than my resurrection discovery You'll be needing a doctor, but you won't make a recovery There's no need for hate, Marshall. You're beginning to lose yourself So confess all your wrongdoings before I send you to hell I'll be sure you see the light as it's the path someone chooses I know you've had a dark life, but Jesus never loses I'm the King of Kings, the greatest ruler of all time And as a miracle worker, I say you could work on your rhymes Announcer: WHO WON??? WHO'S NEXT??? Y-Y-YOU DECIDE!!! EPIC RAP!!!!! BATTLES OF HISTORYYYYY!!!!! Who won? Eminem Jesus Christ Category:Blog posts